So in my first ever blog posting, I alluded to another situation where it seems there's law, but never justice. So here's the second part to it all...
Now before I go on, I simply must preface this to say the following...I am deeply in love with a single Mom, and I'm well aware that she has a child already, and I not only accept that but embrace it fully as she is a wonderful Mother to her child and one of the biggest reasons that I'd be overjoyed if her and I did have a family together, with additions of my/our own to add to her collection.
So ends the disclaimer, and now I can dish the dirt...
So I'm out and about perusing online forums that I frequent, and I happen across a particular post that not only raised my eyebrow, but my ire as well. It seems that very recently, a man out in the Toronto area was ordered by a "Judge" (using the term loosely) to "...continue paying child support to his former wife despite DNA tests proving he is not the biological father of her 16-year-old twins...".
Full article can be found here: Twins Not His, But Man Must Pay Support
I was stunned and amazed, but that only lasted a few moments, then reality crept in. This is nothing new to me by any stretch of the imagination. So much in fact, that I shared a similar personal account of a story that closely mirrors this one. Years and years ago, I knew a man and woman that had 2 kids. They split up and he was ordered to pay support. Seems okay so far. He gets hooked up with a new chick, and she is a single Mom already. No biggie right? WRONG. They split up, and he is ordered by the Courts to pay support to this chick for a kid that ain't even his and everyone already knew it, and to make it all seem more fantastic...he is ordered to pay her and her 1 kid MORE than for 2 of his very own! Yes that's right...he was supposed to pay more for a kid that ain't even his as compared to 2 that were. And the reason for it? Because the kid called him "Daddy" at least once. Yep, that's all it took. So why didn't she go after the known biological father (yes, she did too know who he was)...that answer was just as simple, (paraphrasing) she replied "'Cause he's a broke ass bum and doesn't make as much as 'X' does".
That story illed me to such an extent that I forbade myself from ever hooking up with a single Mom. If that's what passes for "justice" these days, I wanted to take no chances that I'd ever fall victim to such a farce and travesty. For the longest time, you're damn right I refused to play nice with single Moms. As far as I was concerned, they were all the same and all damaged goods that could easily turn jackal on me and soak me for a kid that ain't mine to support. I had to turn my back on a lot of very nice women as a result, but even as I look back at that point in my life, I harbor no real regret about it. The Courts forced me to draw lines in the sand that I otherwise wouldn't have needed to draw until I saw what passed for "justice" in their eyes.
Then I saw this article posted (dated 01/08/09), and flat out lost my fuckin' mind. Pretty much heard pieces of my psyche snap off and twist away into the recesses of my skull. To make a long story short...the Reader's Digest version goes like this:
- man meets woman and marries
- wife has twins
- man thinks he's Daddy for 6 years
- man discovers wife is a filthy whore and the kids ain't his
- man has now lived a 6 year long LIE
- as per above, this means she perpetuated FRAUD (oh c'mon now, she fuckin' knew they weren't his)
- man (like a moron) continues to pay support for an additional 10 years after they split
- woman starts into him for even more support
- man tries to get out of it and is ordered to continue paying
Now I know good and damn well I'm painting with a very deep and broad brush here, and have used some very harsh language...but for the love of Christ, this is ridiculous. According to the Courts, though it's not right that the lyin' filthy ass whore failed to disclose her infidelity or "extramarital affair" as they spun it, this wrong doesn't get him off the hook. Nope. According to the Courts, as long as "...someone acts as a parent and provides support for a child during a marriage, they are obliged to continue that financial support after separation or divorce -- even if the child is not biologically theirs."
Man...you have fuckin' GOT to be kiddin' me!
In other words, though this lyin' filthy whore instigated FRAUD, and that's indeed "regrettable" (dripping with heavy sarcasm), she gets no penalty at all for her crime, but he is forced to continue perpetuating this sham in the meantime as little more than a pawn in her wicked game of deception and oh yea, FRAUD. So this guy gets duped, acts accordingly (as most fraud victims do), completely unaware of his role in this dramatic FRAUD for 6 years...and because he acted like a Daddy, as most would thinkin' and believin he really was the Daddy, he is relegated to pay for HER crime?! So I ask, where are the fuckin' Lawyers scramblin' to have her ass charged with FRAUD and thrown in jail where the dirty whore belongs? Or ordered to pay huge restitution that would be tantamount to erasing all his payments past, present and future?
Nowhere. That's where. And why? The rallying cry I heard was fully expected..."think of the kids!"
Ack. Gak. Sputter...I'm gonna hurl.
So the rally cry is actually to gloss over the FACT that this twat LIED for 6 years and he was involved unwittingly and without knowledge...just so we can think of the kids?! It shames me some days almost to no immediate end that society can so easily overlook such atrocities done to MEN for the sake of "the kids". Society is condoning her deception 100% by forcing this guy to fork over money to continue feeding the lie and FRAUD.
Now as I said in my forum post, so too will I say it here...I do have a heart, but I also have a brain and a voice. Though my heart would want to continue to love and support these kids as if they were my own, I know that my brain would step in and remind me that I have been LIED TO FOR 6 YEARS. My brain would dropkick my heart in a second and tell it to "know its role". I would immediately pursue criminal charges or whatever other remedies made available to me by the law the moment I found out that I was a victim of FRAUD such as this.
But wait...
What about the kids?
Oh yea, that's right...it's not HER responsibility if the kids have to suffer now...nope. The responsibility is 100% HIS because he was unfortunate enough to have been born with a penis and not a pussy. You call this justice? HAH! What a god damn laugh that is. That "Judge" should hang her head in shame for allowing...no, FORCING this charade to continue. She should be so very very ashamed of herself right now. So again we see, there's law but there's no real justice. If there was justice, that scumbag twat woulda been hauled off to fuckin' jail for her crimes just as any other FRAUD perpetrator would be. But no, sadly we live in a bleeding heart society where the "penis people" are reduced to mere walkin' ATM's because we "have to think of the kids!"
His only failing really, was to continue to pay support long after he discovered he wasn't the Daddy. As far as I can tell, this to me was his only failing after-the-fact. Still, he woulda been ordered to pay regardless more than likely as the decision that was cited was 1999 and if my math serves, they'd have split after 6 years together right around that time.
So my question to all of you would be this...is it ANY small wonder why so many men are so gunshy and resistant (see: HELL TO THE NO) to hook up with single Moms in the light of the example I listed, as well as this most recent release? Realistically, is it ANY wonder why men look at women as leeches that are just after their money, and will do whatever they can to make sure that their kid(s) call him "Daddy" at least once to make sure they can sink their greedy fuckin' hooks into him if they should so desire? ANY wonder at all now?
In light of all this I've said, some of you may be wondering then why on Earth I'd be okay with wanting to be with a single Mom...well I can answer that quite easily. I know her. I've known her for almost 2 decades now (just shy actually). I know she has a child, but she wants more, and more specifically she has told me that she'd love to have them with me. If I didn't want kids of my own, I'd dare say I'd be thinking differently, and I have to be honest about that. But since I want kids of my own, and would love nothing more than to have them with her (you shoulda seen what she said about feelin' the baby's foot kick her belly one day...man I melted), I know what I'm getting myself into. I haven't been tricked or deceived. I'm not the unwitting fool in her "sock puppet theatre". That is why. I love her as she loves me, and we want to build a happy home for not only her and her child, but for children of our own some day. I actually look forward to it with the deepest anticipation and excitement.
But for people like the one in my example, and the story that was published...they were just pawns in the great game of chance where they came to realize that, if you were unfortunate enough to have been born with a penis, you'll be made to suffer and assume responsibilities that were never yours to begin with merely because you had an open mind, and an open heart. And you all know what they say...
No good deed goes unpunished.
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